I feel like that fucking Bella girl on twilight.
This one guy, he’s sweet and nice and cute and sends me “good morning” text messages every damn day and we text all day and talking to him is so natural and easy and he’s a football player and he’s funny and he makes me feel happy and he’s always calling me sweetheart and special k and he’s perfect.
Then there’s this other guy, he’s older, he’s mysterious, he’s cute, he ignores me most of the times, he’s funny, he can be a jerk and major asshole at times and he makes me feel like I’m a sideline girl and the most special girl at the same time and he has a car and he’s graduated already and he gets along with my family.
There shouldn’t be a fucking contest right? We all know who obviously deserves my heart. Then why am I stuck in the middle choosing? What’s wrong with me?!
I want to.
I want to be everything he needs. Everything he deserves. Everything he wants. But I’ve got walls covering me 10 feet high. I’m scared. Everyone that said they’d be there for or loved me, left. The worst part was, I always thought it was my fault.
He makes me laugh, so much. But he can be an asshole sometimes too. He makes me feel happy, but he can make me feel lonely too.
I just hope he doesn’t give up on me because of my fragile heart & mind. I just hope he stays around long enough to break down these walls.
